She relives the day she lost her best friend Martha Acevedo-Chan all the time.
"Why take somebody that we love for no reason?" said Retamar. "It's not a day that I don't cry, that I don't miss her."
Retamar is still recovering from a gunshot wound to the face. Bobbie Wayne Grubbs, 42, is accused of shooting Marilyn, and Martha, and another coworker- Sam Watts. He faces six charges, including capital murder. His wife, Deedra Grubbs, faces two aggravated robbery charges and a burglary charge. Both remain in the Montgomery County Jail.
Retamar said she had never met Grubbs before he came to the motel and says she still doesn't understand why he shot them. The grief is almost unbearable.
"Sometimes I blame myself like why didn't I kick the door so he no come in or get on top of her and he can shoot me instead of her," said Retamar.
Seven months have passed and Retamar now suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder.
"I wish that somebody come to me and tell me this is a bad dream," said Retamar. "Everywhere I go, I cannot go by myself because I feel like he gonna show up and kill me."
After the shooting, the owners of the Joaquin Country Inn allowed Retamar to stay on their property in a trailer, free of charge, until she recovered. But now, one of the owners, Mike Tilot, said she has to go. He has cut off all the utilities, which she received for free. Retamar said she has no place to go except for her sister's trailer, which is already full.
"I don't have money for rent, basically I'm on the street," said Retamar, a single mother.
According to Tilot, he and several partners invested more than $900,000 to build the motel, six months before the shooting. Now, nearly a year later, they have to close the place. They said the shooting and the oil industry leaving town have cost them their business. They said they are kicking all of the tenants out because they are leaving town.